For a New Hoodie and Shoes
by scribes23
Summary: "Don't be silly Roy! He won't kill you" "No, of course he won't! He'll torture me first then kill me" pure crack. [Olicity]
1. Chapter 1

Usual disclaimers apply.

* * *

"No! That will not work! Not at all" Roy shook his head for the nth time just to emphasise how against he is on the plan.

"But it's a great plan" Diggle folded his arms.

"Yeah, it's a great plan until 5 seconds into that wonderful plan of yours I end up getting shot. Here" he pointed on his chest. "Multiple times, by arrow. Pun intended"

"Don't be silly Roy! He won't kill you" Lyla lulled the baby in her arms.

"No, of course he won't! He'll torture me first then kill me" the couple was clearly losing there minds. He refuse to be bait!

"You're being absurd!" Lyla said.

"Am I? Do you remember the last guy that had an interest in asking her out?" He looked Diggle who looked at him incredulously.

"Yes! Barry Allen" Answered Diggle."he's okay now."

"After nine month of being a comatose patient. Nine whole months" He held his nine fingers up. "Nine"

"He got struck by a lighthing" Diggle argued.

"Well like being struck by an arrow is any better" He grabbed his hoodie and headed for the door. "I am not asking Felicity, just because you want to make Oliver jealous! there is nothing you can offer me that will change my mind!"

"Not even, a new red hoodie?" Lyla called he needed a knew one. But now, he is not going to be temp by some lame old hoddie. "And a new pair of shoes"

"Damn it!" He cursed waking back. "You guys better make sure he won't get to his quiver"

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I know it's short. It's kind of a Drabble crack promptt. i got bored, again! I'll post an angsty olicity fic later! :) don't hold this one against me.


	2. Chapter 2

Usual disclaimers apply.

* * *

"I can't do this"Roy barfed. "I going to be sick"

"No! You are not allowed to back out on this. I already purchase the hoodie and shoes" Diggle patted his back. "Don't be over dramatic"

"Over dramatic? Well excuse me for being concern about my life. Damn it, where is Lyla by the way?" He looked at Diggle who was having the time of his life sitting by the bar of verdant while Roy play with the left over alcohol. "I thought she said she wouldn't miss this?"

"She won't" Diggle pulled an ear piece out nowhere. "Here"

"Lyla you're on"

"Remember the plan Roy?" Lyla said thru the earpiece.

Was was the plan again? Ah.

"Ask Felicity out, get shot by an arrow, get killed come back from the dead and kill you two" he huffed. "Why are we doing this again?"

"because Oliver needs a push in the right direction." Lyla said and Diggle nodded.

"I don't think he'd appreciate a push in any direction" he played with the bottle of bourbon and poured himself a drink. "At all"

"Can't you see how perfect they are for each other?" Lyla asked.

"Am not blind, I can see the way he looks at her. I might as well end up a member if your club, what was that called again. Felivery? OliFeli? Or was it Olivercity?" He groaned.

"It's O-L-I-C-I-T-Y, Oscar Lima India Charlie India Tango Yankee." Diggle said."That's the reason we are doing this"

Roy grabbed a piece of paper and started to write.

"What are you doing?" Diggle said a moment later after he had folded the paper.

"I had written my last will and testament" He gave it to Diggle. "Make sure Thea gets this. I'm not sure she'll be able to forgive Oliver if I'm killed during this mission."

"Please, Thea's a die hard Olicity, I'm sure she'll get over your death" Diggle crossed his arms. "Plus, you seem to think this is a suicide mission, it's not."

"Well give me suicide mission, I think I've better chance of surviving one" Roy gulped his drink. "And by the way, the password to my phone is IASD"

"Why would I need the password of your phone?" Diggle asked. As Roy tossed him his phone.

"Well wouldn't it be cool if my death is filmed?" He smiled. "You can upload it on YouTube"

"Oh" Diggle replied. "What was it again?"

"IASD for I am so dead." he drank again. "So dead"

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Leave a review if you you want a new part :)

Special thanks to:

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guest

Julieanne.


	3. Chapter 3

Usual disclaimers apply.

* * *

"You what?!" See? Roy knew he wasn't the only one who see this as a bad plan.

"I'm going to ask Felicity out on a date" Everytime he says it, it sounds crazy.

"Honey, if you want a death wish, I'm pretty sure there are other ways" a lot of other ways. "An open casket funeral"

"Don't you think I know that Sarah?" He fumed.

"Oh, okay. Just make sure to call me when you plan on doing so" she shrugged.

"Aren't you going to try and talk me out of this one?" He asked as they walk down the foundry stairs.

"Now why would I do that?" She said picking up a towel she left last night. "I have this wager that involved them getting together anytime soon."

"With who?" He asked. Who the hell would bet on things like this?

"I'm not allowed to tell" She sat as they wait for the others to arrive. Diggle was outside setting the communication up.

"Any advice?" He bugged her. "Don't you think I should hide Oliver's bow an arrow for the time being?"

"Asking Felicity out and hiding his beloved bow. Yeah that's the best idea" Sara laughed. "Just be cool and be alert"

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one about to go on a suicide mission." He mutters under his breath.

He grabbed the bow and arrow and stuck it under Oliver's bed. There nice and safe. Far from him.

"I'm just saying, if your going to ask Felicity out, might as well be all in right?" Trying to sound funny.

"Laugh all you want." He cried. "It's all fun and games until someone gets an arrow"

"You hid it already. Don't worry much" Sara patted his back.

"This is stupid!" He slumped on the floor. "Let's just wish Felicity would refuse to go out with me. I can't believe I'm going to ask her out"

"Who's asking who out, now?" A voice breaks their conversation.

"Holy crap! Where did you come from?" Roy's heart jumped. "And what are you doing here Laurel?"

"Here, I was here the whole time" Laurel crossed her arms. "I thought you knew"

"I knew" Sara raised her hand.

"Well I didn't" Roy huffed.

"So, who's asking who out again?" Laurel inquired.

He opens his mouth to answer her, but the foundry's door open. Basing on the sound of the heels, it's Felicity.

"I thought you said you were there the whole time?." He whispered to Laurel who smirked.

"Hi" the three of them said at the same time. Weird, Felicity thought to herself.

"Uh, hi?" Felicity looked confused. Roy's earpiece beep signalling Lyla's mic was on.

"Here we go. Wait for Oliver then ask her out" Lyla said, as Diggle walked down the foundry.

Why wait for Oliver? Shouldn't he ask her now?

"What are you guys doing here so early?" Felicity asked as she checked on her babies.

"I'm here to ask Ollie out to dinner" Laurel smiled. "To catch up"

"We're kind of busy. Oliver has lots of names to cross out." Felicity huffed. "I don't think Oliver will be having a night off anytime soon."

"I'm sure Ollie will make an exception" Laurel said, slyly. "After all, I'm very good at convincing people."

"Yeah, I'm sure OLLIE will do that" Felicty turned to Sara, Diggle and Roy. "What about you three?"

"We're Helping Roy out, Diggle and I" Sara supplied her an answer.

"With what?" Training him was Oliver's job.

"There's this girl." Roy started.

"Oliver's going to kill you" Felicity suddenly said.

"That's what I told them" Roy breath a sign of despair the Diggle elbowed him. "Uh, I mean what?"

"Aren't you going out with Thea? That's like cheating" Felicity looked at him.

"They broke up, three months ago" Sara said. "Anyway this girl, he wants to take her out on a date"

"I'm sure she'll agree" felicity said, not really paying attention. "Any girl would love to go on a date with you"

"Really?" Roy said. Hoping she'll take the bait. "Why is that?"

"Well you're like hot, I mean good looking hot and kind of sweet and you're hot. I think I said that already" she was busy looking for targets, wishing hoping that some kind of robbery occur so that they're going to be busy for the night.

"Who's hot?" All of them looked at the stairs.

"Uh, no one" they muttered at the same time, except Laurel who answered.

"Roy" Laurel said. "Roy's asking Felicity out on a date. And since we've established that Roy is hot and sweet and girls would definitely love to go out with him. Felicity will say yes. Isn't that great?"

Felicity opened her mouth so subject but Oliver beat her to it.

"Ah" Oliver walked towards them. "Anyone seen my quiver?"

Then Roy ran. His life flash before his eyes. He wasn't ready to die, not yet at least.

* * *

This is some kind of filler chapters :)  
I love you guys so much! This was supposed to be a crack Drabble but lot of you inspired me to add chapters Everytime! Please review if you want a knew one.

Special thanks to:  
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	4. Chapter 4

Usual disclaimers apply.

One review had me thinking about ending this, because of the possibility that she/he is right. What if this story lost it's humour, it would be bad. But I had to try.. So without further ado.

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"Where is Roy going?" Oliver asked as everyone literally scrambled out of the foundry except felicity, of course.

"I don't know, but I better check it out" Diggle followed the Roy with Sara and Laurel in tow.

Their eyes roamed around the verdant to look for Roy.

"Where is he?" Sara put her hands on her hips. "I can't believe that he ran out like that. What a chicken"

"Chicken? You dare call me a chicken?" Roy popped behind the counter surprising them. "I was literally faced with death himself! As far as I'm concern, I'm the king of the world! Beat that!"

"Hey Ollie! I think I saw Roy play with your bow earlier" Laurel smiled as she pretended to call for Oliver.

"I was not playing with it! Precautionary method!" Roy whispered as he ducked under the counter.

"It was epic man!" Diggle looked so excited that his teeth were all showing. In a creepy way. "And I got it all on tape!, well video recording but you get my point"

"Oh come on" He slid down the counter and bumped his head against it. "I need a new identity, a passport! I need to leave town"

"Asking Felicity out is hardly a cause to change your name" Laurel and Sara sat beside each other. While Diggle stood in front of him.

"You're right!" He said a moment later. "I'm being paranoid! I'm sure Oliver has better things to do that kill me, a lowlife who asked felicity out."

"Uh, yeah. A lowlife who asked the girl he likes, probably even love out. Which the girl accept" Sara commented. "Indirectly"

"You are not helping, at all" Diggle butted in.

"I'm not trying to help, I'm just saying" Sara smiled.

"She didn't accept!" Roy felt like he had a eureka moment. "laurel said she accepted but she didn't!"

"I don't think that changes anything at all." Sara continued to torture the poor boy.

"I have to call Thea" he flip through his phone. "And Moira"

"And say what exactly? Tell her that his son is the arrow?" Laurel interjected.

"Bad idea" Diggle knocked on Roy's head. "Call Thea, tell her bets still on."

"What bet?" Roy asked.

"I bet they'll get together after you asked her out. Thea says they won't ever get together" Diggle pulled him up.

"I thought she was on the ship?" Roy asked.

"Yes but, that's the thrill. Layla,Sara and I says within a week, laurel says month, Thea says never while Moira" Diggle paused. "Moira bets they'll already together"

"So everyone is in on this bet except me?" Oh that's why he was the bait. "Did you ever stop and think that I'll end up dead?"

"But it's for the greater good" they said in unison.

"Greater good my ass, you three sound like that movie. Hot fuzz." He huffed.

"Yes, greater good" they nodded at the same time.

Meanwhile down the foundry.

"I found it! I found my quiver!" Oliver stood pulling his items with him. "My precious!"

* * *

You know the drill, comments means update :) I'd like to thank you for reading this!

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	5. Chapter 5

usual disclaimers apply

* * *

A Finale

* * *

Meanwhile down the foundry.

"I found it! I found my quiver!" Oliver stood pulling his items with him. "My precious!"

"Okay that was creepy in ten different ways." Felicity looked at him, as he polished the edge of the arrow. "Actually just one, I can't exactly picture you as smeagol"

"Very funny" Oliver rolled his eyes. "Are we still on for tomorrow night?"

"I thought on cancelling on you" she approached him looking at whatever he was doing. "Since Roy kind of asked me on a date"

"Oh yeah that reminds me, Roy! Come down here time to practice" Oliver shouted.

"You know" felicity stood and walked to him. "One of these days, that boy is going to have a heart attack. Roy is your sister's boyfriend, he's kind of hot"

"Oh yeah, hot and sweet" Oliver smiled at her. "We are not having this conversation about my sister's boyfriend."

"Don't worry, totally not my type." She raised her hands.

"I think I know your type"Oliver teased.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Ruggedly handsome billionaire, has this cute smile and prominent jaw, with abs to die for" He sit and started to polish his arrow.

"I'm thinking of broody and handsome" she said putting her hands on his shoulders.

"And hot" He turns to looked at her. "You forgot hot"

"Yah. Ruggedly handsome and hot. What ever could I asked for" She smiles at him.

"Do they really think we're that stupid?" She asked him a moment later. "That we don't know what they're doing"

"Just leave them be" he grasped her hands and pulled her closer. "They're having fun, we're having fun. Which reminds me."

"Roy!" He shouted. "I found my stuff! I need someone to practice arrow on, I mean with"

"Oliver!" Felicity hit her hands on his head, he caught her hands and intertwined it with hers.

"Oh come on. They wanted a show, I'm giving them one" He smiles at as she walked away to continue with her work.

Meanwhile up the verdant.

"Did you guys here that?" Roy fell out of his chair. "I think I'd be wearing that new shoes and hoodie to my own funeral"

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-The end-

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So! This is it guys! I'm so happy about the support this story received but like all things this Fic should end. Thank you for supporting me, you guys inspired me to keep writing!

Check my new crack Fic, **"Fern Custody" or as I like to call it : **the drunken adventures of Thea Queen and Felicity Smoak) if you have time :)

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